what am i doing here? what do i expect this to become? if it's not making me happy, should i change it? or just wait? i wanted to travel, see new places, meet new people and now i'm stuck waiting for things to turn out good, craving for a tiny bit of safety. i'm not done traveling. but i don't want to lose the chance of starting an independent life either. i can't always rely on my family's money. so what's happening now is not an adventure, but the real life hitting me in the face. i'm waking up. i didn't want to, but i have to. now.
and now, two hours after posting this, i get the mail from the design agency that i can start on tuesday and they will pay my rent and transportation! life, thank you.